called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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