Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Randomize
