just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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