We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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