Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
