Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
