There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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