I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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