He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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