she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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