Yo dont text me then not text me
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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