it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Panties = found
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
