You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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