I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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