what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
