I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
she peed on how many people?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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