dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i think i scared a bird with my dick
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
