is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
worst night to have a conscience
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Randomize
