just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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