DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
