Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
