I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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