You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
