Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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