what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
