Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
two words: eviction party
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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