just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
im holly from the hills drunk
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
it glows. i had to have it.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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