Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
