I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
