I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
