just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
