yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
My vagina is very pro this idea
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
