All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I need a burrito and a hug.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
