Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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