fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Randomize
