The beer is more important than you right now.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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