my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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