can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
