My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
