well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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