is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
