You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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