it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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