Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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