The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
