I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
