Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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