soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
