it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
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My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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