she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
