we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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