The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize