OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
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