I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize