how hairy? two words: wookie tits
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
