Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
one might say we're banned from that church
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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