You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
