dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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