the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
