I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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