Duck Duck Cougar?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
