There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
