Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
