she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just cut my nipple shaving
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
